How Do You
By Karen Card
We all want to feel love; we want to give it and
we want to get it. But, what happens if we don’t feel it? In order to have a healthy, loving relationship
we need to recognize that our partner may have a different
description of love than we do. What does love mean to you? Your
partner? How should someone express his or her love to you? How do
you show someone that you love him or her?
A lot of us mistakenly believe that everyone
shows love the same way. However, people’s expressions of love can
vary greatly, especially with the opposite sex. As a woman, do you
want a man to say, “I love you” and bring you flowers, or do you
just want him to spend more time with you? As a man, do you want a
woman to tell you she thinks you are wonderful, or do you just want
her to have more sex with you?
People have different descriptions of what love
means and how it should be expressed. To have a healthy relationship
you need to know what your love needs are and what your partner’s
love needs are - they could be completely different and what’s
important to you could be meaningless to them.
to Men and Women: Take the time to communicate to your partner what makes you feel
loved: saying nice things, doing nice things, quality time, gifts,
or physical touch. After you tell your partner what makes you feel
loved, find out what makes your partner feel loved so you can both
give and receive love. After all, we all want to feel love!
Why Men Won’t Ask for Directions
Why will he not stop and ask for directions? Because he is a man.
The main reason men do not like asking for directions is because
they have a strong belief that they can “do it on their own.” If
they are lost, they will be able to find their own way out, on their
own, without needing help from anyone. Where women are willing to
ask for and receive help from anyone (even gas station clerks), men
feel their intellect is being challenged if they have to ask for
help. Men associate their value as a person with their ability to
figure things out on their own.
From The Guy Rules: Christopher Columbus did not need directions and
neither do we.
When you are with a woman and she suggests you ask for directions,
do not think of it as an insult. Think of it as another way you can
make her happy. You will be getting the directions just to make her
happy, and not because you could not figure it out on your own.
Next time you are with a man and you are lost, stay calm and try not
to offer advice. Try to relax and enjoy the scenery. Give him a
chance to figure it out on his own (you could even give him support
with this). If that does not work, ask him if he would be willing to
stop so you can go in and get the directions. Whatever you do, do
not make him feel bad that you are lost.
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