Do Women Over-Generalize?
Always & Never!
By Karen Card
women sometimes use the same words but with different meanings.
have a tendency to over-generalize statements, using words like
ALWAYS and NEVER. Women sometimes say to men, “You ALWAYS do this,”
or “You NEVER do that.” The use of these words is not meant to be
taken literally, but used for emphasis and to express negative
feelings. However, when men hear these statements they will most
likely hear it literally and will think, “That is just not true.”
woman says, “You never take me out dancing,” what she really means
is, “It has been a long time since we went dancing and I would like
to go this weekend.”
problem with using “always” and “never” is that men do take them
literally and then feel inclined to defend themselves, which usually
causes arguments or fights. When he argues the point and explains to
her that they just went dancing six months ago, she feels that he is
ignoring what she said. She thinks she told him she wants to go
dancing, while all he hears is that he “never” did something. This
is another mis-communication that can be avoided with awareness of
Advice to Men: Before you jump on the defense and disagree with
her “always and never” statements, try to read between the lines.
What is she really asking for? She says: never go dancing. She
means: wants to go dancing. Once you realize this is a form of
communication, you can respond in a positive way which will make her
happy, rather than getting defensive and making her more unhappy.
Advice Women: Try to avoid using “always and never” statements.
If you accidentally use one and he gets defensive, realize he is
likely using a literal translation and trying to defend himself.
Reword your statement as a direct request such as, “I would like to
go this weekend.” Remember, men respond better to direct requests
than they do to indirect statements.
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