Do you passively wait for a good
opportunity to jump in to the conversation? Do your good ideas
remain unspoken thoughts because you cannot get a word in edgewise?
Do you allow your competition to steal your Conversation Control?
Conversation Control is an artful dance of
words, gestures and body language that steers the listener in the
direction that the speaker wishes to take them. Certainly a rude and
manipulative speaker has no intention of giving you the floor. But,
are you losing conversation control with everyone - even your dear
friends and family? How did this happen?
Repressing the rebellious was once the
design and purpose of schools when the English and religious leaders
granted education to the people. The limited learning provided some
facts and memorization, basic math and English but reserved the
philosophy, critical thinking and science for the elite. Rote
repetition left over from the English school system still reigns as
an early elementary mind-numbing practice in America. American
schools have a basic flaw. The initial school design was to be is
administration-friendly rather than child-friendly.
Any assertiveness is considered a problem
for the school system and is punished right along with aggression.
The removal of creative classes of art, dance and music to barely an
hour per week creates more strain on the children. The most passive,
inhibited and frightened children are rewarded and praised. The
normal, active child is too often labeled attention deficit and
medicated into a stupor to be sure that the school runs quietly and
efficiently as mandated by the state. Rebel teachers are also
quickly removed as any deviation from the norm may reduce federal
and state funding. The schools become slaves to funding and more of
a house of discipline than joyful learning.
Children in school must give up both
negative aggressive behavior and essential assertive behavior in the
current American school system. Take a happy-go-lucky, curious,
vocal child and place them in hard metal chairs in rows of thirty
five children. Force them to be quiet and sit still, eat, drink,
urinate and defecate when the teacher chooses for seven hours. If a
child tries to act like a normal child, they are sent, as in the
Victorian age, for an emotional caning at the Principal’s office.
Reports of the terrorists training camps
reveal their schools teach extremely young boys to be completely
compliant to their commanders. The children are kept at their desks
for long hours with few breaks and learn anti-American propaganda.
Soon their spirits are broken and they become machines for the
commander’s bidding, who often uses drugs to help control their
minds and convince them to sacrifice their young lives for a better
life after death. Meanwhile, the commanders live on. Most Americans
would call that child abuse.
Repressing normal excitement, curiosity
and exuberance in American children often results in high levels of
rebellion, self medication with drugs and alcohol - just to stand it
or a high drop out rate. Those students, who endure and suppress
their assertive qualities, do well within the system, object to
nothing and receive their diplomas. Once employed, however, they may
sit at their desks waiting to be told what to do.
Often severely taken advantage of by their
employers, these passive new workers do not object to extreme
conditions, poor treatment, low pay or verbal abuse. Any attempt to
speak out can be easily quashed by the more aggressive. These
workers are serving the needs of great companies and organizations
as worker ants. Sometimes as late as a decade, or worse case, a
lifetime, they may begin to awaken and resent their no-progress
jobs. They are in pain and want change but have been well-trained to
just take it. They have not learned to take Communication Control.
In a wider arena, powerful men in
government act quickly to stop assertive conversations that object
to their questionable decisions. Misread as strength by many
Americans, their policies of intimidation, threats of impending doom
and destruction, and stacking of the Congressional deck can
successfully silenced the public “watchdog” media and opposition.
American adults must object strongly to any attempts to force a
return to passive elementary school behavior that enables the
Administration to lead Americans where they want to take us, rather
than where we vote to go. Americans, as a nation, should never lose
their Conversation Control.
Years of hunched submissive shoulders may
feel some pain and ache as they straighten and push back to raise
ones head high enough to see, really see. Each individual has an
inherent right to exist, find their voice and vote according to
their values. In the collective conversation, you may even have to
interrupt. People who have hearing loss may try to talk over you, so
for some people you may have to speak loudly and clearly to be heard
at all. Your opinion may be wrong or you may be right, but be sure
your opinion counts. Let no one steal your assertiveness, freedom or
pursuit of happiness, or that of your child’s. Let your voice be
heard at home, in the school system, at work and politically, with
your vote. Take back your conversation control and hold it dearly.
Read other articles and learn more
about Dr. Molly Barrow.
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