Where Did the Romance Go?
How to Rekindle “Date Night”
By Karen Card
loved it when he used to send her flowers and take her out dancing.
Their dates made her feel special. Somehow though, their dates
gradually changed from a night out with dinner and dancing to
staying home with take-out food and movie rentals. Soon, they did
not even go out for the videos, they just ordered a pizza and
watched television. Along with the decline of their dating life,
they also saw a gradual decline of their sex life. What happened?
Where did the romance go?
wonder why there was so much romance in the beginning of your
relationship, but not now? There may be a good reason. Most men,
when presented with a challenge in their life, will focus strongly
on the challenge until they have reached their goal or solved the
problem. Then, feeling proud of their accomplishment, they sit back
and relax, moving on when the next challenge arises. Unfortunately,
many men look at relationships in the same manner. The woman he is
dating is the challenge so he puts a lot of time, energy and focus
into courting her until he has “won” her. Once he is confident that
she is committed to him, he has reached his goal and can now sit
back and relax. This is very normal behavior for most men.
do not realize is that women need romance throughout the
relationship, not just at the beginning. When a man stops the
romance, which is something she really needs, many times the woman
will stop appreciating him, which is something he really needs, and
the relationship starts to decline. If his romantic behavior
becomes stale or predictable, she cannot continue to be excited
about being with him. It up to both partners to work to keep romance
in their relationship. Here are 5 tips to keep the romance alive:
Regular “Date Night”: The most effective way to keep romance
alive is by going out on dates. Whether you are young and like to
party, or settled down with several children, a couple needs a “Date
Night” to keep the spark going in the romance department. To make
Date Night successful it needs to be just the two of you, out of the
house, including dinner and another activity (movie, dancing, walk
on the beach, etc.), without any talk about serious issues. The goal
of Date Night is to focus on being romantic – like you did at the
beginning of the relationship.
Let the man plan the date: To make Date Night more romantic, the
man should plan the dates, as he did at the beginning of the
relationship. When a man sets up and confirms the details of the
date, the woman feels special and cared for. While she may initially
have to request that he put in the extra effort required to plan and
execute the date, after he takes her out, he will be rewarded with
her appreciating him and his efforts.
Plan ahead: It is hard for women to appreciate a date that is
rushed and unplanned. The last thing she wants to hear is him asking
in the car, “What would you like to do tonight?” Men have the power
to keep the love alive, by making an effort to
plan dates ahead of time. Women love the excitement they get from
looking forward to a date which has been planned several days ahead
of time. Try to have the date plans in place by Wednesday for a
Yes, it requires more thought and more
energy on the man’s part, but the effort is worth it. This type of
romance will put the spark back in your relationship and she will
respond to him with appreciation.
Focus on each other: An important part of Date Night is having
uninterrupted time to focus on each other. The rule is that there
will be no talking about the kids, the bills, or the problems of the
day. The conversation needs to be light and easy – after all, you
are on a date, not in a family meeting.
not get lazy: Just because you get settled into a relationship,
does not mean you should settle down. Although it is easier to stay
home and rent videos rather than going out to the movies, do not
take the lazy way out – it is a slow death to your love life. Women
need to let their partner know that they still need to have dates.
She needs to ask him to plan their dates in advance and take her out
on the town. Both partners need this. At the very least, try to have
one Date Night each month. Keeping the romance alive will keep the
relationship alive and healthy.
partners benefit by putting some effort into the romance department
of their relationship. Recognize that romance needs tending to
throughout the entire relationship – it does not stay hot and heavy
forever, unless you consciously make it happen. You have the power
to bring the romance back by bringing back the feelings you had at
the beginning of your relationship. Bring back Date Night.
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