Get Unstuck from 3-D Doldrums
By Dr. Molly Barrow
in your third decade and disillusioned, disappointed and
disheartened at your career? Are you still in your “college” job
that was supposed to be temporary? Do you use a credit card like a
drug to make yourself feel better and then discover you cannot quit
your dead-end job because you are in debt? After arriving into your
twenties somewhat battered, filled with stale dreams and smarting
from past rejections, your path to future success may elude you.
Take a moment to review your possibilities. A happy ending is still
possible. Here are ten ways to get unstuck from the 3-D Doldrums.
Decide You Deserve Success: What is holding you back? It may be
your “worse case scenario” thinking. Sometimes to protect yourself
from disappointment, do you think negative comments to yourself: “I
probably will not get the job, anyway,” “Everyone else is set except
for me,” “I should be driving a new BMW,” or “Why bother, it is
just a volunteer job.” Change your self-defeating jargon to “I say
yes to every great opportunity.” Fail all the time, but keep trying.
Who Am I? You are not who you were five years ago, nor will you
be the same person five years from now. Your life and work choices,
just like food preferences, accumulate. Make smart decisions and
“Voila” there you are, lean and successful. Make lazy choices and
“Voila,” there you are bloated, debt-ridden and depressed. The easy
road is usually the wrong one.
Parents: The push-pull of your parent’s advice and your own
desires can often leave you at a standstill. People only nag people
they care about and their urgent nagging of you is simply
misdirected affection. They may have twenty to fifty years of
experience on you, so be sure to sit down and really listen to their
advice as well as other respected adults in your future field. Then
if you must, you can make your own mistakes - as long as you only
make them once.
Want It Now: Do you want a better life? Live within your current
means and avoid debt like a plague. Make the right decisions on the
smallest scale possible, like for the next thirty minutes pretend
you are a money-saving, happy and fit professional. What is the next
choice that will keep it going? Do it. Take a break and relax, then
start again. As long as the good decisions outweigh the bad, you
will begin to improve and feel empowered. The process of achievement
is often more satisfying then reaching the final goal.
Any Work Is Good: Every day you work at your low-level job
accumulates good work experience. Whether you are a garbage
collector or a stockbroker, all jobs have very similar skills to
learn. Punctuality, dependability, responsibility all mean that “you
do what you promise to do” and that takes years of practice. If you
are selling shoes or selling real estate developments for millions
you need to know your product, treat the customer great, and know
when to move on to the next real buyer. Analysis, psychology and
statistics are more than just boring classes - they are tools of the
trade that can make you money.
Continue School: What idiot designed the current school system
that demands energy-exploding people to sit silently in rows for
eight hours? The best of the best have spent time in the principal’s
office. If the educational system is unbearable for your nature,
check out the online options and finish your degree, get an advanced
degree or commit to lifelong learning in the comfort of your room.
The best schools in the country offer online degrees.
Relationship Is So Important: Nothing trashes a good
relationship like poverty and arguing over money. Make a majority of
your decision-making benefit your career rather than put all your
eggs in the relationship basket. Odds are fifty-fifty right now that
a marriage will succeed. Finishing school, getting solid business
experience of any kind and developing your work skills will result
in much higher odds of success. If you have designed your life
around an unpredictable young person or worse, made decisions
strictly to keep a rocky relationship going, when the relationship
fails, you could end up with nothing.
Show Up: Be the one who shows up, often not always, for the
company charity, the necessary overtime or the party for the
pregnant assistant. Dress up and act like a professional. The social
business occasions are where upper management gets a chance to
notice you without the corporate world typecasting. The good ole
boys and great ole girls have the power to promote you and thus skip
years of climbing the corporate ladder.
Never Noticed You Before: The person that you attract may change
drastically when you are no longer watching television all day,
smoking pot, actually bathe and take out the trash regularly. As you
leave college day habits and distractions behind, you may find that
even you are attracted to people with character, kindness, humor and
intelligence over well-developed muscles and an “attitude.” That is
why concentrating on your career might be more important than
finding a relationship when you are 3-D.
Satisfaction and Gratitude: You may not be able to control
anything else about your current job, except how you approach the
work. Do what ever you do carefully, artistically and with the best
of your ability. Decide that you want your life to be happy today
instead of bitterly waiting for distant tomorrows. People will
notice your approach to work and react accordingly. Positive
behavior and thoughts draw more positive energy and experience, and
is the smart game to play. The act of gratitude can change the worst
jobs into play. Eventually, the new you will have all that you long
for, however it may bear no resemblance to what you want today.
Permit yourself to feel hopeful and confident, instead of driven and
frustrated, while you change and grow inside.
Read other articles and learn more
about Dr. Molly Barrow.
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