Who, Not What, Is Holding You
By Shari Bench
you back? You probably spend time thinking about what you want in
how often do you consider why you have yet to achieve what
you want? Maybe you desire a raise or a promotion.
What is your barrier? Maybe your company isn’t providing
opportunities for growth. Maybe your boss has yet to realize your
value, your co-workers are a problem or your employees don’t work
hard enough. It’s time to realize that most of your barriers are
created by you. Here are the 10 steps in eliminating the things in
life that hold you back.
1) Examine your
How you think about
yourself and your opportunities are in direct alignment with your
results. Believe in yourself and your ability to create the results
you want to achieve. Sometimes your thoughts are ingrained so deeply
you are not even aware of how negative they may be. Make a
conscious effort to replay your thoughts during the day. Recognize
negative thoughts, discard them then replace them with positive and
encouraging thoughts. Continue this process until you have retrained
your thoughts to be naturally be positive and encouraging
Lack of clarity
can weaken your progress. If you know you want to do something
different but have not brought clarity to the results you are trying
to achieve, you are stifling your progress. Invest time in yourself
and your future by allocating time to contemplate the results you
wish to achieve. If you have become frustrated and confused about
what you really want, this is where you begin. Each day create an
environment (meditate, take a walk, relax) where you can clear your
mind and place yourself into your professional future.
3) Habits and
Your habits lead to
the choices you make (consciously or subconsciously) which bring the
results you currently have today. If you want to change your
results you must change your habits and choices. Once you have
examined your thoughts and created clarity on your future, you must
bring your habits and choices into awareness.
If you want to make
progress you must stop justifying that it’s ok to be where you are.
Be aware of justifications that take you out of the game: “It’s too
hard, it will take to long, I’m not smart enough, People just don’t
understand, Change is not safe, The economy is so bad I should be
grateful for what I have, I’ll start tomorrow”. The reality is
dealing with justifications will feel as if you are arguing with
yourself. Your head wants you to stay safe and will sound
intelligent as it tries to keep you from making progress.
5) Eliminate the
Until you are
willing to take full responsibility for your results, blame will
seem appropriate. While blaming, you become a victim and changing
your results will become impossible. Why? Because if you are
blaming others you are telling yourself you have had no say in where
you have ended up in life and it is someone else’s responsibility to
change your results. Eliminating blame releases a shadow over your
thoughts, and you begin to see the accountability you have had all
along and the opportunities that are all around you.
healthy reliance on yourself to succeed. Although you want to
realize the responsibility you have over your own results, you also
want to avoid having an attitude of having to do it all. As you
determine what your goals are, begin to consider what you need and
who can help you achieve each of your goals.
7) Lack of
responsibility and accountability go hand in hand. As you begin to
create clarity around your desired results, it’s important to have
accountability built into your progress. Without accountability,
it’s easier for justification to start derailing you which can
prolong your ability to meet goals.
8) Lack of
education and knowledge:
It has been said
the only thing standing between where you are and where you want to
be is learning something different. Education is a valuable tool
and should be considered as such for the rest of your life. Don’t
let your education discontinue once you have finished school. As you
evaluate each of your goals, identify the education you will need to
achieve the results you expect.
9) Fear of pain or
Fear has to be one
of the most powerful emotions you’re facing. This can create
significant momentum for change or shut you down all together,
preventing any progress from occurring. How fear effects each person
is going to be very different. Your fear will expand and possibly
elevate and intensify to a level much greater than it actually is
upon experiencing it. Keep in mind The degree of your fear will be
relevant to the change you are experiencing.
reality is you will live up to or down to the standards of those
with which you spend most of your time. It is in these personal and
professional relationships you have found comfort. Evaluate these
relationships and begin to reduce negative influences. Although
listed as a final step, this is one of the most important places to
begin. Through your habits, beliefs and actions, you have
strategically aligned with people who influence your outcome. Ensure
you are continuously looking at the relationship alignments you have
created within your life.
This article began by asking “who’s holding you back?” then
continued explaining that by blaming others you become a victim and
lose control over your own destiny. By reading this article, you
have already created an awareness of barriers that may be present in
your life. Continue to recognize that if something or someone is
perceived to be holding you back that you have the absolute power to
remove these barriers.
Read other articles and learn more about
[This article is available at no-cost, on a non-exclusive basis.
Contact PR/PR at 407-299-6128 for details and